last updated: march 2026. this is a real privacy policy, written in real english, because you deserve to actually understand what happens with your data.
THE SHORT VERSION
we don't collect your personal data. all calculations happen in your browser. we don't store your age, salary, savings, or how depressed our math made you. we literally can't. there's no database, no server-side processing, no accounts.
ANALYTICS
we use Google Analytics and Cloudflare Web Analytics to understand how many people visit the site and which pages they view. this is aggregate, anonymous data. we can see "500 people visited today" but not "Dave from Ohio spent 4 minutes crying at his millionaire date." we use this to know which calculators to build next.
COOKIES
Google Analytics uses cookies. Cloudflare may set cookies for security. we don't set any cookies ourselves. if you block all cookies, the calculators still work perfectly. the math doesn't need cookies. it runs on disappointment.
THIRD PARTIES
we don't sell data. we don't share data. we don't have data to sell or share. the only third parties involved are Google (analytics) and Cloudflare (hosting). both have their own privacy policies that are much longer and less fun than this one.
ADS
there are currently no ads on this site. if we add them in the future, we'll update this policy. the ads would be served by third parties who may use cookies. we'll be transparent about it because we're honest. it's kind of our whole brand.
YOUR RIGHTS
under GDPR and similar regulations, you have the right to access, correct, or delete your personal data. since we don't have any of your personal data, this is the easiest compliance we've ever done. if you have questions, email [email protected].
CHANGES
if we change this policy, we'll update the date at the top. we won't send you an email about it because we don't have your email. see how this works?