depressing calculators is a collection of free tools that do honest math about your life. no optimistic projections, no "just save $500/month and you'll be fine" nonsense. just arithmetic and uncomfortable truths.
why does this exist?
because every financial calculator on the internet assumes you'll get 7% annual returns forever, never lose your job, never get sick, and never spend money on anything fun. that's not a calculator — that's a fantasy novel.
we wanted to build the calculator that shows you the floor. the baseline. what happens with just savings, just time, just math. if reality is better than our numbers, great. if it's worse, well, at least you weren't surprised.
who made this?
a person with a laptop, a sense of humor, and the inability to stop doing math at 2am. that's all you need to know. the calculators are the star, not us.
is this financial advice?
absolutely not. this is division. if you want financial advice, talk to someone with a license. if you want to know how many months until you're a millionaire based on pure savings, we're your site. there's a difference.
how does this site make money?
right now, it doesn't. it's free, ad-free, and runs on coffee and existential dread. if you want to support it, there's a "help us ruin more days" link in the footer. if you don't, that's fine too. we're used to disappointment.
can I suggest a calculator?
yes. email us. if it's depressing enough and the math checks out, we'll build it.